So flying across the country always makes me stressed up until the point I get through airport security. Once I do, I figure I’m all ok. This time I was doing all carry on luggage which does make me stressed about fitting it all in the plane – but I figure I’ve made it past the hardest hurdles: packing without too much kid freak out, cleaning up the house without too much craziness and mess making behind me, walking out the door without too much kid freak out, and then driving through rush hour traffic to get to the airport.
Today I ran into 3 of the 5. Rachel, my baby girl, cried the whole time I finished getting ready this morning at 5 am and packing up my last minute items. She clung to me while I straightened my hair and did my makeup – just sobbing. I had told her she could go out on a special date tonight with Daddy – just she and Daddy. Dave and I had talked about him taking her for ice cream and then they could bring some home for the boys. She thought that was a horrible idea and sobbed about that too. She kept telling me she didn’t want me to go on vacation. I actually see my work travel in almost 95% of all cases far from a vacation. Packed from morning until late night – in a different time zone ends up being far from my idea of a vacation. If I could go to bed early or sleep in late, maybe it would qualify it somewhat.
I had slacked last night on my clean up plans so I didn’t score any points there. I hate leaving the house looking like a bomb went off – especially with my dad coming to help. I know they all say they don’t care – and the bathrooms and kitchen are clean – but the clutter is so brutal. I had done the kitchen but not the rest before I went to bed last night. I have no one to blame but myself and apologized for not doing my share.
Then I hopped on the freeway – leaving plenty of time – only to come to a grinding hault easily 25 miles away from my destination because of a 4 car accident involving highway patrol that was blocking all lanes. They had literally closed down the freeway eastbound. I always drive in the far left lanes because I go straight through. Silly me. The traffic gods smiled upon me though – and I did the blinker on, thank you wave, across 4 lanes to exit at the end of the triangle painted on the road for the exit lane. I maneuvered around my obstacles and made it with plenty of time to spare.
A woman and her son ran to the gate and stopped beside me as we were all boarding. She said “Oh my god –it took us 2 hours to get here because of the accident on the freeway!” She was so stressed and breathless. I told her I completely understood and she had thankfully made it in time. Just confirmed that things somehow do work out the way you need them to if you ask for a little supernatural assistance – seriously.
So here I am – no movie in flight – no sound working I guess. I figured you all were a captive audience and I pulled out my laptop to blog. I did a little imaginary shopping on skymall for everyone in my family and most of my friends. All the things you never knew you needed but now can’t live without are in skymall. You know – that special storage system for your garage. The do it yourself acupuncture kit. The in home exercise gym that folds up to be the size of a folding chair. The indoor dog mat to let dogs have a bathroom spot in the house (ewwww!). Honestly – what more could one ask for? So – my work can wait. I have shopping to do And don’t think I didn’t think of shopping for you!
My thoughts are with my babies back home. The mommy guilt is at an all time high. I await the words again that Rachel said to me yesterday so sweetly and innocently, “Mommy I need you to come home so you can hold and snuggle me.” They echo in my mind as I close my eyes and wish all them blessings and quick safe returns to my arms. It will be Friday evening before we all know it.
This song is one I heard the other day on the radio - no video online yet. I dedicate it to my sweet baby girl at home, her 3 brothers and their brave daddy taking care of all of them while I'm away.
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Saturday, May 10, 2008
2 Dangerous Questions to Ask a Woman
We live in interesting times. Newsflash? Doubtful :) I will refrain from sharing any news like network news. I most certainly don't want the campaign ugliness to find me... heehee
So have I stalled enough to have you wondering why did I entice you with such a title? Just what did you come here to read anyway? What 2 questions could be so worthy of making a post title to announce them? What makes them dangerous? (don't worry - I'll stop now - I'm not going for 21 questions)
Here they are, and in no particular order, I might add:
1. What do you do?
2. Do you have children?
Have you experienced this? You must have. Universally human conversational questions if you live in a country where the majority of women work and you are over the age of 25, in my humble opinion.
Silence enducing, possibly.
The proverbial eggshell scenario, most definitely, depending on the company.
You don't know you are on eggshells until you utter the words in the question and face the wall of awkward silence. Once you hit that wall, there is no going back. Tap dance shoes may be essential items to carry in your bag or you will wish you had them. Perhaps belting out a few show tunes would help and cause such a distraction the words you previously uttered will disappear into the vastness of the universe of unanswered questions - hopefully before you reach the second verse of that showtune... maybe even the second line if your voice is like some I have heard (wink).
Why are they so loaded? What strikes an instant nerve and immediately offends? Why is it women that are offended and if you asked men they simply answer and shrug or shrug and answer and move on? Sigh. Women.
These complicated creatures that society - Western Society really - has allowed to become talented and contribute in all ways to the world of work, are still hard wired to carry the basic human desires women are born with (most) and still equip them with the power of choice to default to traditional roles, if that is what her heart desires and economics allow. Was that a PC (politically correct) sentence or WHAT!?! whew! (throw a few more eggshells on the ground so you can hear me stomping on them while you continue to read) I mean... women are still hardwired genetically to have kids, and hardwired to be caretakers. Something about the original cave man who set out to conquer the furry beast and bring home dinner set that tone. Honey - you stay here. I want to make sure your body remains soft and beautiful, unscared and uncalloused for my purposes later. If you help me hunt the furry beast you might be harmed. When I come back, we'll have some snuggle time together by that fire I made earlier - keep it going, would ya? Etc Etc... eons later concepts are still the same... except rather than asking about the slaying of the furry beast dinner is expected to come from a fridge and be simmering on the stove, right?
Stop.
"What do you do?"
If you are a woman, and you DO have a job or a career, that dinner scenario can be totally foreign. You may catch bad guys for a living, teach small children, conduct multi-million dollar transactions, design beautiful fine fabrics or furnishings, or argue legal issues in a court. The list really is endless. Women can do whatever they want these days. Ok... they don't necessarily get paid what a man does for the same job... but THAT is a whole 'nother blog entry for another time :)
"What do you do?"
If you are a woman, and you DON'T currently have a job or a career, and these words are put out there for the good of the order... simply to make small talk or keep a conversation going... be prepared to hear those eggshells or hear the breaks of the conversation come to a SCREECHING hault! (sorry to mix metaphors) Some women shrug it off and say - "Oh, I don't work right now" or "Oh, I work overtime, I'm a stay at home mom." Some women meet your question with another - "What do you mean?" That kind of question - answering my question with a question is a sign. Most often it is a sign that there are issues. Tread lightly. Don't go there. STOP. Change subject. Immediate U-Turn. Honestly, in this fine 21st Century we all now inhabit, it really shouldn't offend. Women have had more opportunity than ever before. And, if they choose a traditional route - more power to them. And, if they choose to do multiple things - like work and have kids - that should most definitely be ok. Hey have you tried to pay for a mortgage and fill your tank with gas on a single income these days? OUCH!
Moving on before I lose you...
"Do you have kids?"
This time of year... this weekend in particular... that question can be more sensitive than you realize (em em, Mother's Day?). Those with kids respond enthusiastically or exhaustedly and most will begin to share all sorts of details you never realized you asked for. Careful... you might have opened flood gates. Proud mamas are hardly ever shy when it comes to sharing the bestest qualities of their sweet babies - of whatever age they might be. Those without kids may respond in a variety of ways. "Nope" "A dog" or "I'm an Aunt". Quick short answers are normally a sign (to me anyway) that this woman is confident in who she is and is fine with the question. If you start to hear the eggshells again or the screeching of breaks? Be prepared. You have entered dangerous territory. Perhaps she couldn't have children. Perhaps something horrible happened effecting the fate of her children. Perhaps she just never had the chance and wanted to. Never assume (I think I reviewed what that stands for a few posts ago). Either way. Make it right. This question, if met with awkward silence, deserves an apology. I didn't mean to ask you something so personal is often what I say. I try to never ask this question in a large group, having learned from this mistake in the past. Backpeddling in a group setting to save yourself from this question can be brutal.
"Do you have kids?"
It is important to remember in our amazing 21st Century that women, just like they can choose to have a job or a career or not, can also choose to have children, or not. And the choice, whatever it is, is ok. Is it any of my business? Nope. Is it worthy of small talk? Probably not. I tend to view small talk as reserved for people I don't know and I'm trying to fill some silence for some reason.
This Mother's Day, make sure you pause to thank your mother. Everyone of you has one. THAT is a safe bet. Even if she is no longer alive, you can still thank her. Say a prayer. She is most likely now a guardian angel unless you were so horrid she wrote you off decades earlier (joke -please laugh). Be thankful that your mom did whatever she did to make life good enough for you to get you to a place where you are reading this. Moms tow a tough load.
So have I stalled enough to have you wondering why did I entice you with such a title? Just what did you come here to read anyway? What 2 questions could be so worthy of making a post title to announce them? What makes them dangerous? (don't worry - I'll stop now - I'm not going for 21 questions)
Here they are, and in no particular order, I might add:
1. What do you do?
2. Do you have children?
Have you experienced this? You must have. Universally human conversational questions if you live in a country where the majority of women work and you are over the age of 25, in my humble opinion.
Silence enducing, possibly.
The proverbial eggshell scenario, most definitely, depending on the company.
You don't know you are on eggshells until you utter the words in the question and face the wall of awkward silence. Once you hit that wall, there is no going back. Tap dance shoes may be essential items to carry in your bag or you will wish you had them. Perhaps belting out a few show tunes would help and cause such a distraction the words you previously uttered will disappear into the vastness of the universe of unanswered questions - hopefully before you reach the second verse of that showtune... maybe even the second line if your voice is like some I have heard (wink).
Why are they so loaded? What strikes an instant nerve and immediately offends? Why is it women that are offended and if you asked men they simply answer and shrug or shrug and answer and move on? Sigh. Women.
These complicated creatures that society - Western Society really - has allowed to become talented and contribute in all ways to the world of work, are still hard wired to carry the basic human desires women are born with (most) and still equip them with the power of choice to default to traditional roles, if that is what her heart desires and economics allow. Was that a PC (politically correct) sentence or WHAT!?! whew! (throw a few more eggshells on the ground so you can hear me stomping on them while you continue to read) I mean... women are still hardwired genetically to have kids, and hardwired to be caretakers. Something about the original cave man who set out to conquer the furry beast and bring home dinner set that tone. Honey - you stay here. I want to make sure your body remains soft and beautiful, unscared and uncalloused for my purposes later. If you help me hunt the furry beast you might be harmed. When I come back, we'll have some snuggle time together by that fire I made earlier - keep it going, would ya? Etc Etc... eons later concepts are still the same... except rather than asking about the slaying of the furry beast dinner is expected to come from a fridge and be simmering on the stove, right?
Stop.
"What do you do?"
If you are a woman, and you DO have a job or a career, that dinner scenario can be totally foreign. You may catch bad guys for a living, teach small children, conduct multi-million dollar transactions, design beautiful fine fabrics or furnishings, or argue legal issues in a court. The list really is endless. Women can do whatever they want these days. Ok... they don't necessarily get paid what a man does for the same job... but THAT is a whole 'nother blog entry for another time :)
"What do you do?"
If you are a woman, and you DON'T currently have a job or a career, and these words are put out there for the good of the order... simply to make small talk or keep a conversation going... be prepared to hear those eggshells or hear the breaks of the conversation come to a SCREECHING hault! (sorry to mix metaphors) Some women shrug it off and say - "Oh, I don't work right now" or "Oh, I work overtime, I'm a stay at home mom." Some women meet your question with another - "What do you mean?" That kind of question - answering my question with a question is a sign. Most often it is a sign that there are issues. Tread lightly. Don't go there. STOP. Change subject. Immediate U-Turn. Honestly, in this fine 21st Century we all now inhabit, it really shouldn't offend. Women have had more opportunity than ever before. And, if they choose a traditional route - more power to them. And, if they choose to do multiple things - like work and have kids - that should most definitely be ok. Hey have you tried to pay for a mortgage and fill your tank with gas on a single income these days? OUCH!
Moving on before I lose you...
"Do you have kids?"
This time of year... this weekend in particular... that question can be more sensitive than you realize (em em, Mother's Day?). Those with kids respond enthusiastically or exhaustedly and most will begin to share all sorts of details you never realized you asked for. Careful... you might have opened flood gates. Proud mamas are hardly ever shy when it comes to sharing the bestest qualities of their sweet babies - of whatever age they might be. Those without kids may respond in a variety of ways. "Nope" "A dog" or "I'm an Aunt". Quick short answers are normally a sign (to me anyway) that this woman is confident in who she is and is fine with the question. If you start to hear the eggshells again or the screeching of breaks? Be prepared. You have entered dangerous territory. Perhaps she couldn't have children. Perhaps something horrible happened effecting the fate of her children. Perhaps she just never had the chance and wanted to. Never assume (I think I reviewed what that stands for a few posts ago). Either way. Make it right. This question, if met with awkward silence, deserves an apology. I didn't mean to ask you something so personal is often what I say. I try to never ask this question in a large group, having learned from this mistake in the past. Backpeddling in a group setting to save yourself from this question can be brutal.
"Do you have kids?"
It is important to remember in our amazing 21st Century that women, just like they can choose to have a job or a career or not, can also choose to have children, or not. And the choice, whatever it is, is ok. Is it any of my business? Nope. Is it worthy of small talk? Probably not. I tend to view small talk as reserved for people I don't know and I'm trying to fill some silence for some reason.
This Mother's Day, make sure you pause to thank your mother. Everyone of you has one. THAT is a safe bet. Even if she is no longer alive, you can still thank her. Say a prayer. She is most likely now a guardian angel unless you were so horrid she wrote you off decades earlier (joke -please laugh). Be thankful that your mom did whatever she did to make life good enough for you to get you to a place where you are reading this. Moms tow a tough load.
My mom and my sweet baby girl.
Thank you mom for letting me be whatever I wanted to be when I grew up :)
Sweet baby girl - be whatever you want to be. Hoo!
But for women overall... people PLEASE be careful. Prepare yourself. Tread lightly with those dangerous questions... or remember I told you so. And, be glad we live in a time in the world, and a place in our society, where it is OK for there to be more than one right answer to both those questions.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)