Late Night Discoveries

Sometimes some exploration is just what the doctor ordered. An amazing SL artist, Gwen Carillon, has a sim called Elements. I better not share the URL or it will become too crowded... kidding. Peaceful. Introspective. An incredible contrast of light, dark, water, earth.

I took the opportunity to load up my SL camera and snap away. I then promptly came home and decided to become an artist myself. I decided to do it for me though. It feels good. It soothes my soul. Not bad for an avatar, eh?

Unbelievable!

My family recorded the opening ceremonies of the 2008 Olympics because I was just enroute home when it was happening. I got home in time to watch all the teams enter the stadium - but not see the tremendous performances. Watching it this morning, I am in awe. I know some of the history, some of the politics, and some of the philosophy. I know enough to know I shouldn't endorse their politics. I know of the controversy of the trip the olympic flame across the world. But... in watching the tremendous opening ceremonies - the dance, the symbolism, the beauty, the synchronicity of the performance, the technology behind what they created, the ultimate awe factor... how can you NOT be impressed!

Ok... I admit it... I was a band geek. I did marching band. It is hard. You are responsible for your one little spot and yet if you screw up your one little spot - it has a domino effect across the entire performance. That was in a band of 175 members... and we were good... we won awards... but.. 2008 performers... 2008 performers in sync... it is mind boggling. It is beauty and science. 15,000 performers total.

If you missed the opening ceremonies... go back and catch them on NBC.com. Regardless of your politics... take the time to absorb the performance art and beauty that encompasses this once in a lifetime event. The symbols above represent harmony. There is a very cool site I found that you can explore other chinese symbols China Connection. The other thing I find fascinating is the symbolism of numbers. I learned yesterday that 8 is the luckiest of all in chinese culture. 080808 represented a reason for thousands of chinese couples to get married yesterday. 6 and 9 are also lucky numbers. 4 and 14 are unlucky. 14 the unluckiest of all... representing certain death. There are no 14th floors in high rise buildings in China.

So... where is the olympic presence in SL? I am going to set out today to find it. I would love for someone to recreate the mural painting dance on the floor of the Bistro. It was incredible. The drumming... yes, I love drummers... but the mass 2008 drummers and the technology lighting up the countdown? Mind boggling precision. I hope there is something the Lindens have cooked up to honor the olympics in SL. I hope there is something someone has done in some sim. If not... I'm going to feel a little pressure to do I don't know what.

Cheers to harmony and foreign lands and things beyond our wildest imaginations made possible!

Silly Blogs... kinda like... onions?

Pounding headache. No... I don't drink very much... hardly ever actually... I just have the symptoms of one who does I guess. This headache in the back of my head, the back of my neck, traveling across my shoulders and up to my forehead won't go away. Swimming in the amount of water I'm trying to consume, carefully remembering to have some coffee so I won't exaggerate it by lack of caffeine, I try ice packs too. That seems to help. Relpac.. 1 of those. Those are scarce though so I try not to take those very often. I am hopeful my headache will burn off as the day progresses like fog does over the ocean side cities in California by mid-day.

When I first thought about what I was going to post today - I was going to do the Parker, Joonie, Blissie patented Popsicle and weather surveys. I love those! I can't wait to try them. But as I scrolled down and down and down, and realized how many blog posts I was behind on (heck, even Crighton had a blogette from yesterday!!!), I realized how behind I was. These silly blogs are just incredible. Second Life led me to blogging. Before that, I always figured blogs were too too personal and I didn't really have anything worth saying anyone would read anyway. Then, I began to see how they are really like an asynchronous conversation. They are a way for getting to know someone better. They are good for a laugh - sometimes right out loud - a good hard laugh. They are good for a cry. Sometimes you people share things that just make my eyes start to leak. Blogs... they are a heck of a lot like onions! Each layer is a bit different... thick, thin... sometimes making you cry when you slice and dice... tasting a bit different if you saute them or just eat them raw on something. They add a flavor to my life now that I do not want to imagine living without.

They are an incredible creative outlet, as is SL. They compliment SL. They have allowed me the privilege to get those I now care about so much, in more depth. They allow us to carry on the conversation after we log off from our adventures in our pixelated landscape. They validate our experiences in-world and remind us how human we all our and how diverse our lifestyles are across the country, and across the world. It makes me love all of you, and SL even more in so many ways.

Silly blogs. There are all kinds of purposes for them. I stumbled across one yesterday that simply offered HTML coding tricks for widgets and such. I stumbled upon another that was only about technical assistance for something or another. Then, I stumble back into all of ours. Our family, our network, our crazy clique... whatever you want to call it... I get lost in your entries. I realize how much I've missed if I don't check in every day. I am sad when blogs go days without new posts because I know things must be hectic or stressful or the creative juices must have dried up just a bit for that person.

So cheers. Toasts to each of you. Toasts to blogettes, to laundry lists of survey results, to interactive polls, to amazing photography, to crazy tales, and deep insightful analysis (bradley :) ). You make my life richer. You connect me to a creative adult part of my brain that just doesn't get that kind of stimulation from dogpiles and cartoons and sibling fights I constantly referee. Happy weekend everyone!

Sometimes Making Everyone Happy Makes No One Happy

I have been bombarded with emails today when I sent something through our work email system by mistake with my personal login sending everything that bounces back to my personal work email address. Needless to say, ever since 3:00 pm, my email inbox has been filled hour after hour with returned mail. Much of my job is email based depending on the day, and this afternoon's email bombardment of nonsensical messages made for an exhausting end of the day. I made my boss happy though, she needed it done and even though I sent it as myself, it got sent.

I've started working a lot in SL too. I hostess at 2 clubs primarily. I enjoy the tips and being welcoming and chatty. In some cases I have helped grow interest in a club that was struggling from day to day. I have noticed though that it has changed SL for me. It has added pressure and obligation where there used to be none. I enjoy it, but I find myself wondering if I have taken the fun out of it.

I suppose if it gets right down to it, I need to decide who I am making happy. If it is no longer fun, then it is time for a break. I always had a strict rule for myself in my first few months of SL that I would pay for Lindens if I really wanted them because SL was entertainment - and I work too hard in RL to not just enjoy SL. Good policy, I thought. I was really good about it for almost a year. Then, I put my toe in the working world of SL. I'm a work-a-holic. I admit it. I work long hours at my job in RL to get things just right. I can't turn my brain off sometimes. Once I started with some work in SL, I found the same applied. Achieve, achieve kicked in.

I don't want SL to lose its magic. I need to do some thinking. If I am working for me, because of what it can do to improve the things I want to do and own and be in SL, then it is worth it. If I am working to make others happy, or for the attaboys, then it isn't.

My RL life is very hectic right now. Having everyone home for the summer is a blessing and a curse. It means that we don't have the hecticness when I leave in the a.m. - I only have to worry about myself getting out the door. But on the other hand, when I hit the door at night, they have had all day without me at home. They need me and want to tell me about everything they did all day, and want me to be ready to entertain them for a bit. I haven't been good lately at that. Working in SL makes it harder to multitask like I used to in RL. I can't go AFK for very long or I feel like I am not doing a good job (see told you I was achieve, achieve).

Tonight ended on a tired and cranky note. It is only Hump day. Two more days to go and Friday is a busy, full one in RL that I can't be tired and cranky for.

Thanks for listening. Sometimes it helps to write it all down. Makes it easier in black and white. Makes it easier to see what really matters. I'll make better decisions in the morning after a good night's sleep but a heartfelt blog post was much needed for my psychie this evening.

YOU are invited!

Happy Rez Day to Me! Happy Rez Day to Me!

(ok... Bigd too... Happy Rez Day Bigd!!) Hoo!

So here I sit - beside my larger than life invitation well crafted by 2 SLfriends I love dearly (imaginary or not - Blissie and Jenda). No... you cannot have the special mini-Moxie picnic blanket and pillows as it is not yet ready for prime time.

Ok... yes... the invitation may be a bit gaudy perhaps. But! You KNOW you want one! Inside is the fabulous collector's edition of the Rez Day hat by Jenda Starbrook. If you weren't inworld on my friends list, I wanted to make sure you were invited. And yes, I will share a hat with you upon arrival :) I even have dancing frogs and skeleton top hats too - courtesy of Jenda and Crighton. I tell ya - these imaginary friends - can you beat em? Hoo!

Come by and enjoy the ocean breeze, a narly tube ride, a swim over to some other neighboring open water swim, or dance the afternoon away.

If you don't yet have a SL account and are completely baffled as to what a Rez day is... then... TODAY is your day baby! Hoo! Join us in world. Here is the scoop - the notecard from inside the larger than life invitation:

OMG!! 1 year in SL! How many RL years is that? How many dog years? Sigh... my calculator is broken.

~ Rez Day Party for Bigd Flanagan & Kimala Kohime~

Come celebrate with Bigd and I! Hoo it up with us. DJ Crighton Johin will spin your requests and our favorites. Bring your board and catch a few waves. Come to just enjoy the sun and good friends on the beach. We are so glad you have been with us through thick and thin this past SL year. Join us from 3-5 pm SLT, Memorial Day in the USA, Monday, May 26.
*hugs*Kimala Kohime

Follow this link... IM me for a water taxi or a prop plane. Whatever you do... just join us for some SLbarbeque and a lovely slice of cake. I'm SURE there will be cake in some form. I can't imagine Blissie coming to a party without cake :)

Fond Farewell Bel Cove

Lay on the beach and listen to the waves... just watch out for falling coconuts. Hike the mountain... Gaze at the stars, Cuddle in the Cave. Enjoy! NOTE: Monthly Tier is 1385L per block of 140 prims.

Estate plot (3696 sq m) landscaped with cave and teleporter system from mountaintop to island beach. Secluded special SL spot - not to be missed! $8000L OBO.

Swing by and take a look for yourself! Hoo! bel Cove Bali Mountaintop/Island Getaway

Contact me inworld on IM or email kimalakohime@gmail.com for more details.

Its 8 pm SLT - Does your RL spouse know where you are?

I have had some very interesting experiences over the past almost year in SL. I have learned alot about myself. I have learned things about myself that I thought I knew - but not as well. I have been reminded of old friends and traits I loved and some I didn't.

SL amplifies who you are in RL. It amplifies the good, the bad and the ugly. If you prefer to see yourself as a victim... then SL turns up that volume. You can wallow to your heart's content. You can soak up feelings of little or no self-worth and look for validation by taking yourself down a highway to self-destruction. Is it what you would do in RL? Perhaps, perhaps unconsciously.. and perhaps over a slow, winding ride.

If you prefer to see yourself as someone who enjoys life, enjoys people, and hopes to learn all you can... then SL can amplify that too... over and over. It can open doors to new passions. It can open new doors to old friends - like music and dancing and good conversations. You may wonder why all that - if I find it so rewarding - isn't it in my RL? Well, my 4 small friends whom I love dearly dictate that. SL allows for me to enjoy those things, and enjoy them. Multitask and do homework. Dance and hoo and snuggle on the couch with them. Have conversations with people I would never necessarily meet in RL and grow as a person. Can I do that in RL? Sure - part of my career allows me to do that. But socially, rarely.. right now... RL needs me to be here - holding my little girl's hand and enjoying the Disney channel for the 100th time. Yes Hanna Montana can co-exist with Stone Temple Pilots blaring at the Glamshack or the Beehive :) Hoo!

So... at 8 pm SLT... does your spouse know where you are? Does he or she care enough to be online and exploring and enjoying what you also find so fun? Does he or she take the time to get to know your online friends and enjoy them as well? Or - do you keep your RL and SL so separate that the two will never meet? Do you choose to keep them separate and throw stones at those who allow themselves to be vulnerable and enjoy all SL has to offer? I know many from my time in SL who have moved into glass houses. They have been very brave stone throwers. Sadly, they don't realize the glass they are shattering with their stones are part of their own homes.

I dearly love my spouse for being a part of all the growing pains SL can bring. We are a good team. Those who make my SL so full are one's I would never hope to do without.

Move on? Sure. Grow and learn? Always. Keep an open heart and an open mind? But of course!

Non-Verbals, Assumptions, and Sensitivity

One of the things that has sent me on journeys of self-reflection centers on non-verbal behavior. Naturally, in RL, my face has a tendency to smile. Even when I'm sad, I end up with a smile on my face. It isn't purposeful - it just happens. My mouth turns up instead of down. I have noticed since I have had kids that it must be genetic. My oldest is the same way. He gets in trouble and he gets a nervous smile on his face. It makes his dad angry to say the least - because of course it is a human instant reaction to become more angry when someone is slyly smiling?

It got me thinking about how I am affected by non-verbals - in RL and in SL. Believe it or not -they are alive and well in both places. I have always been told I am overly sensitive. Big surprise to some of you reading this - I know! LOL I try to take that as a compliment. I have sensitive hearing and smell too. Now I am probably totally misplaced vocationally but I must say my heightened senses served me well as a classroom teacher. I could hear those mutterings under students' breath and I could smell those fragrant extra curricular lunch time activities that would waft in on their clothes and breath. I also had eyes in the back of my head. I was a veritable force to be reckoned with if I do say so myself.

Now that I am no longer in the classroom, I find those skills are still handy. My son was looking for his little brothers shoes yesterday a.m. and I was in the kitchen and I suggested he look near the coffee table in the living room. He was impressed at that point I could see through walls. Should I admit to him, it is just my super amazing memory power (almost Rainman like for some things - and others unfortunately not much)?

But what does this have to do with non-verbals? I think some - ME especially - are totally more clued in to non-verbals. When someone has a weird look on their face, I pick up on it. When someone has a hunch or a shuffle to their walk that is out of the ordinary, I notice. I don't always say things because then I'm accused of being overly sensitive and imagining things - but I do notice. I often have a hard time not assuming it is about me and I need to fix something. I'm a fixer. My husband calls me a problem solver. My dad calls me a solution seeker. Under any of those titles, when I sense something is not right, I end up trying to fix it.

So now that I have rambled I suppose I should share my deep insights into what this means :) If - I were to have a solution or a fix for all this. But before I do, I want to share my observations in SL with regards to non-verbals. I had an interesting experience last night with a friend/colleague in RL that couldn't turn off her AO (animation override). Actually she didn't even know she had one on. All she knew was her butt was swaying from side to side and she was afraid she was going to take someone out in the process if she didn't get it stopped. Being relatively new to SL she thought it might have been her skin or something. We got it fixed and she was much happier with her default SL avitar stance, hands on hips. She is that way too. She takes charge, she solves problems, she tells you what she thinks - she is PERFECT standing there silent with hands on hips.

I prefer my AO where I lean on one foot, sometimes with my hands behind my back, sometimes with one hand to my head. It is somewhat of an open stance, and a thinking stance. As I thought more about it on my way in, I thought about how it fits who I want to be in SL and who I am in RL. I hope people see me as that. Aside from AOs, SL leaves you with either text chat, IM chat, silence, or gestures. It is so funny to be somewhere when it gets quiet - all of a sudden there is a lull in chat. A gesture or a hoo always seems to clear the air - but people aren't always ok with the silence. (Much like RL I suppose thinking of the big talkers in my life - myself included).

I think text in SL is so abundant because it fills the void of non-verbals that we need as human beings. We work to find ways to describe our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions by articulating them in 1 dimensional letters on the screen. I have read other bloggers who write about SL share this phenomenon as why it makes for such an immediate means to connect so deeply with others we meet on SL. We are forced in SL to not rely on our normal means of behavior -but rather over articulate who we are and what we want others to know about us.

In my never-ending search to solve my over-sensitive nature and develop "thick skin," I found a super validating website. "Are you too sensitive?" had my name written all over it. For those of you "thicker skin" insensitive and uncaring individuals, please take a gander (JUST KIDDING). For those of you who wonder why others feel too much or over think, please take a look.

Most importantly, my solution for myself, is to do a better job of just being direct. Coming right out and just asking people what is on their mind. I have spent years of energy worrying about what looks or reactions meant and probably recreated situations 100 times over to no avail. My challenge to myself in the coming days and weeks will be to practice doing a better job of asking and checking in - rather than assuming.

OH Yeah.. my students also hated the word "ASSUME" - I always taught them to take the letters apart and ponder it that way - "ASS" "U" "ME". Don't worry... I'm taking my own advice. I'll ask. And I'll do my best to give you the appropriate non-verbals, even if my silly face always cracks a smile inadvertently at inopportune times.

Pretty deep thoughts for a Friday, huh? And that's all on a SMALL cup of coffee. Yikes!

Sweet Dreams - SL Style

One of my mantras since I began logging into SL and finding myself there later than I would ever stay up normally, was to say "Goodnight - it is my SL bedtime." People who knew me from the spank pack (aka Blissie Boucher - not to mention any names) would start to ask me if it was past my SL bedtime as the clock crept past 9 or 9:30 pm SLT (yes, pre-SL days used to find me snoozing in bed with me missing half of the shows I would start to watch - pretty much anything after 8:30 was hit or miss - sad huh?).

So - as the clock ticked later and later - I said my usual round of goodnights and headed back to my little sleepbag seaside. Nothing better than the sound of surf to lull you to sleep. In my goodnight checklist, I decided to share some pleasantries with my next door mountaintop neighbor. The red arrows below show our locations. It is important for those who don't know SL to realize you must use a "shout" setting to be heard at that distance - and that "shout" allows others around you to also "hear" the conversation.


Please note it all began with a simple comment - I can see you walking around up there Bigd. From that, here is what happened:

[21:55] bigd Flanagan shouts: Good Night Big Brother!!!
[21:55] You shout: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[21:56] bigd Flanagan shouts: poor aeryn that misguided chick with a dick
[21:56] You shout: OMG
[21:56] You shout: You sicko!
[21:56] You shout: I love you Bigd :) you sexy SL hunk!
[21:56] You shout: Sleep well in that Sexy Sexy Moxie Bed of yours! Hoooo!
[21:57] bigd Flanagan shouts: Tis late and I've banned you from my property
[21:57] You: It's such a shame you can't see what finger I'm holding up!
[21:58] bigd Flanagan shouts: I'll never touch you again HA Ha
[21:58] Kimala Kohime sobs and sobs
bigd Flanagan: I'm donating my poseballs to help island!!!
[21:59] You: Is it wrong that I was TOTALLY aroused by that?
[22:00] bigd Flanagan shouts: Put it in your blog! I'm an open book baby!! Front and back
[22:00] You shout: God I want you! Hoooo!
[22:01] bigd Flanagan shouts: Searching for protective devices now you psycho!!
[22:02] You shout: I'm losing my voice Bigd - I must say goodnight
[22:03] bigd Flanagan shouts: I'm in love with this aeryn chick, sure shje has no hoo, but she has great hygiene and she likes baseball This is goodbye!!
[22:03] bigd Flanagan shouts: I no longer wish to correspond with you!!
[22:04] You: It's such a shame you can't see what finger I'm holding up!
[22:04] Kimala Kohime sighs and heads out to bed
[22:04] Kimala Kohime sweet dreams Bigd - i'll correspond with you again someday I just know it
[22:05] bigd Flanagan shouts: Never I say never It's all over now!!!
[22:05] Kimala Kohime inserts evil laugh here
[22:06] bigd Flanagan shouts: Damn her hide
[22:09] bigd Flanagan shouts: Goodnight you dangerous woman

Earning My Stripes

aka... diary of the banal details of our RL week
(with a hint of sarcasm)

So this week... I jinxed us. Our lazy Sunday was simply a calm before the storm. I knew it would be a horribly busy RL week. Kids had statewide standardized testing -oh the joys; D has his usual round of parenting battles with students he case manages, and I had 2 grants due before I went out of town for work. Even under the best set of circumstances, it was going to be a challenge.

Sunday afternoon our youngest began complaining of stomach pains. It went downhill quickly from there. By Monday in the wee hours we had our youngest two throwing up and our middle one complaining of similar stomach cramps.

Busy week? Busy in new ways. Gotta love how life hands it to you sometimes.

three toilents - no waiting - sums it up simply

So... from what started as hour by hour survival has gotten me to Thursday afternoon. I'm mentally preparing to hike the mountain of clean laundry that D has so diligently kept up with. My hands are raw from antibacterial soap washings (yeah I know - that's a whole 'nother debate). And, the clutter lays as best it can with us in survival mode.

SL offered a welcome diversion for adult conversation, shopping, dancing, rezzing caves, and even sailing this week. "My tummy hurts" wails can still be tended to with back rubs and tummy rubs. AFK means I am most likely accompanying someone to the bathroom or attempting to get gatorade or chicken noodle soup into someone's tummy.

As for the RL work? Well some of it is still there :) Most of it got done in the nick of time before deadlines with the collaboration and amazing teamwork I share with my colleagues. Gotta love Instant Message and email. Where in the world would we be without it? Phone was kept to a minimum because of wailing. I tell you - nothing like I have ever experienced as a parent dealing with viruses and kids - with this wailing aspect. And yes, 5 hours before take-off the business trip was cancelled.

So I think both D and I have earned new stripes for our roles as parents this week. Not sure whether they are colored chartreuse or puke yellow ;) Either way - they were hard earned. D figured puking in front of the class could provide a healthy new form of classroom management. You know, high school kids are a tough crowd - it is best to keep them guessing, and revolted, if necessary. :)

Ok... off to conquer the mountain. Clean laundry awaits. Yes kids, you do have underwear it just hasn't been put away. Yes, D you can wear matching socks tomorrow, not tube socks to work LOL. Yes, oldest, your sheets are back on your bed and no that wasn't water on your comforter... puke has an unmistakable smell that permeates the nose. (sorry TMI I know - but didn't you need a little more imagery with this post?)

As a reward for sticking with me through this painfully banal post... here's a little more to waste your time and make you smile. Let me know what kind of parent you are.. or might be :) And... OK, I admit it, I am relieved my results ended up being what they were. My state of mind at this point in the day, at this point in the week, might say otherwise.

You Will Be a Cool Parent

You seem to naturally know a lot about parenting, and you know what kids need. You can tell when it's time to let kids off the hook, and when it's time to lay down the law. While your parenting is modern and hip, it's not over the top. You know that there's nothing cool about a parent who acts like a teenager... or a drill sergeant!

Would You Be a Cool Parent?

Lazy Sunday... After Being Back in the Saddle Again

Nothing better on a Sunday than laying in a hammock at the ocean's edge and deeply breathing in the salty sea air. My body is tired but I'm not sleepy. It feels good to just be. Six days of work make me so grateful for the serenity that is just being.

Yesterday was a statewide kickoff of a new program we are doing for PBS resources in Arizona classrooms. After months of waiting and reinventing ourselves, it felt so good to be back. Being with teachers who were excited about bags of PBS giveaways like stickers and mousepads and teletubbies headbands. Sharing preview reels of upcoming programs like Carrier. Delving into all the resources for educators, families and kids on all the PBS sites. It was invigorating. It was exciting to have educators who are willing to give of their time on a Saturday, without pay or mileage/travel reimbursement, and open their schools and classrooms to the resources we have to offer them.

PBS is so much more than just Lawrence Welk and This Old House and Antique Roadshow. PBS Kids is more than just Big Bird, Elmo, and Teletubbies. Have you taken the time to explore the resources that build literacy skills for children who are even too young to read words on a page? Have you seen the resources they have about the developing brain or the teenage brain? Have you participated with interactives in science that allow you to divide a cell? Have you helped Word Girl solve the mysteries of the dastardly Butcher (butcher-er of the English language)? Make sure you click on the link to Heros, Villians, and Mere Mortals :). Logins are free. Experience is priceless, as MasterCard and Visa would say.

I have been pleasantly surprised to encounter PBS friends inworld in Second Life. It seems to be universally human to now be able to identify a PBS character you remember from your childhood. Big Bird and other Sesame Street characters have traveled worldwide. It makes sense that eventually they would sneak their way into Second Life as well. Better yet, when it ends up really being my friends Carly and Josh inside Elmo and Cookie, we are all able to have a quick dance together. Who would have thought Cookie Monster was so light on his feet?

I must admit though - this wasn't the first time I encounterd PBS characters inworld. In my early SL newb days, I had a dance with an Italian friend, Kemi. Kemi was always bold in his avitar looks. Is it a shame to admit there is something captivating about having a quick ballroom dance with Baby Bop. I was a bit shy about asking him for a dance - but he was quite willing and surprisingly also light on his feet!

Bottom line - and ultimate purpose of this post? Hmmmm. Enjoy a lazy Sunday on SL. Relax knowing yesterday was a success in RL on so many levels. And recall how fun PBS can be - for everyone - in RL and SL. Now... back to the beach!

Waiting... (not to be confused with watching the clock)

So much of our lives are spent waiting. Waiting in traffic, waiting for appointments in a medical or dental office, waiting for someone to call, waiting for whatever is coming next. Waiting for the tax refund (Hoo!).

I continually find myself possessed with the teacher syndrome when I wait. I bet some of you have it too – even though you are not teachers. It is the syndrome that causes you spontaneously to launch into multitask mode. Waiting is a particular state that drives me to it like no other.

While I’m waiting, I better bring 5 things to do in the orthodontist office because, heck, I might even get them all done. Now really, just while my son gets his routine checkup at the orthodontist done and they replace one bracket – can I really respond to all my morning email on my blackberry, complete some online work (if they have wireless – which unfortunately they don’t), work on a blog entry, AND read my latest Oprah Magazine? Good lord – how LONG is that appointment? You would have thought I was heading to the airport on a business trip!

What I have decided is that SL is so damn appealing because there is never any waiting – really, truly. I mean sure there is waiting for an event to start because there has to be parameters of organization. But, while you are waiting, you can go shop, build something, chit chat it up, dance, drive, fly, turn yourself into several other avatar shapes and sizes human and otherwise. It is the ULTIMATE non-waiting experience. It allows us to be impatient in our waiting and have fun in the process.

Ok – while I’m typing this in WORD because I can’t get online (geesh am I being IMPATIENT?) the cute gal from the front desk comes out to open up the blinds in the waiting room and says – what a cute laptop. It is cute – it sucks on SL – but it is cute nonetheless. I ask her if there is wireless and she says – no I sure wish though. I’ll ask Dr. Cain about that – you’re not the first patient parent to ask about that. Hooooo! So… maybe it is worth to ask. I’ll keep you posted. But I digress (you should know by now to expect that from me - heehee)...

Anyway – back to waiting. Recently as I have gone to full sims for events I have noticed a distinct waiting factor in SL. Rezzzzzzzzzzing. Gray people surround me. Half formed images appear. I am horribly ruthed (newbie hair and ugly shape) and must edit my appearance and hope I appear “normally” soon. But the BEST experience I have had waiting for all of SL to magically appear correct has been when I teleport into the newest Jazz club on SL – Savoy. The TP landing spot is set on the beach – in between velvet entry ropes – just as an RL club or venue would have set for you to wait patiently to enter. Others TP in there too and you find yourself rezzing in a sort of line. While waiting to get in – actually waiting to rez – I had a friend even ask me – geesh –is there a line to get in here? It was kinda cool. It heightened my interest in the experience and most definitely my anticipation.

Ultimately I guess sometimes it is important to slow down, breathe and just enjoy the waiting as an act in and of itself. (yea right, kim, take your own advice would ya?) Sometimes waiting is a chance to just sit, just be, just enjoy not doing ANYTHING. And… ironically… I find that it doesn’t kill me. I find new thoughts flit through my brain. I find myself feeling creative. I enjoy just being. Life goes so fast. If I hurry up and use up all the space designed to allow me to pause, or wait, I might miss that space and something happening that could come positively from that waiting.

So… note to self… enjoy the fact that I have to work on this blog the “old school way” in Word. Enjoy the fact that I can’t get on SL and run around crazily spending lindens in an early morning shopping frenzy. Enjoy the fact that my first baby boy is now 12 – a saucy pre-teen who still loves his mom and is becoming a handsome sweet young man who will have beautiful teeth – even if it costs me an arm and a leg and means I have to wait for him.

Free to be you and me... kinda sorta

So what should you do with all that extra time on your hands in SL? Are you bored with your look? Have you bought every kind of hair that could possibly look good on your avitar and changed your skin at least 9 times? Are you feeling like everywhere you look you see the same kinds of clothes, shoes, everything?

Long slow sigh.

Well let me tell you... this girl I found listened to all my sorrows. She offered me a new perspective. She and I had the ultimate cup of coffee and set off to fix her up. She is giant. She used to be a he ;) She is a he... wait... I'm confusing myself.

See it all started like this...

First... BigD decided he would get a job. He blogged about this a few posts ago... He decided on a whim that it would be fun to try and now he is an official Sexy Bee Dancer for The Bee Hive - go figure! Bring in those big bucks baby!

He's had a full week or two now at that. He is a very competitive soul and found that bringing in the Lindens while talking to clubbers in sexy ways might just be his thing. Go figure ;) But then... a challenge... a NEW challenge could not be ignored.This DJ we know and love decided he needed to be a She. He/She actually has done this on several occaisions and even blogged recently I guess these major life changes are worth blogging about :) be it RL or SL major changes... but I digress.

The ultimate gender bender equation shaped up in a matter of moments... fumbling with inventory... a few shouts out of "where the hell did I put that?" and "what was that called again?"... and... wa la.. Competitive BigD + DJ turned DJette = SheD.
But... before you get too critical on poor SheD's look you must know that she enjoyed a night out with Ette and I after the club closed. We got her some respectable hair and some slutty clothes and another SL beauty was born: a giant sexy girl. SheD teleported into a SIM today landing a little to close to some guy and got a "WOW" out of the mouth of that guy. I think that just might be a compliment.

So what the heck is the point of all this craziness? Boredom is a state of mind. If you are bored on SL, I encourage you to go out and find yourself a big girl, or find yourself a job, or explore various shapes and sizes that you would never dream of being in RL. Remember that ultimately SL is a role-play sim. It is a game. Most of us here take ourselves WAY too seriously most of the time. Most of us get so hung up in dreaming it into something else we forget to just let loose and HOOO! Hugs to those crazy SL He/Shes I love so much! And hey... can I borrow those boots some time?

Closing Time

I had the privledge of attending a final event at Sporks last weekend. Sporks became the clubhouse of sorts to those of us who needed a home after OneWorld closed. Borday and Blissie made it a warm, fun, crazy place that allowed everything from ballroom dancing, coffee drinking, pole dancing, pillow fighting, spanking, and most importantly picture-taking. Borday was always gracious enough to let Blissie put out the high prim spread of delectable treats and anyone could throw down a tip jar if you felt so inclined to shimmy the pole in your skivvies. Borday's sexy voice would accompany his great mix of music and anyone and everyone was always welcome.

I felt kind of sad last weekend as we laid on the couches and listened to Semisonic's "Closing Time." It was bittersweet. None of us need a home base any more like we did in the newbie days. We all have our own land or places we crawl into to spend the night. (I think EVEN Spanker Ehric now has a home other than Help Island :)- go figure!) But all of us still need that sense of community and belonging. Blissie did that with the Spank Pack and Borday did that with Sporks.

"Closing time - you don't have to go home but you can't stay here... Closing time - time for you to go back to the places you will be from... "

Saying goodbye to Sporks reminded me of a Sunday afternoon a few months ago RL but seemingly years ago SL when we all said goodbye to One World. The fairwell impromtu rooftop dance was captured by many of us in pictures and shared in our picks in our profiles for weeks to come. It was the end of an era in some ways.

One World brought us together. It was the birthplace of outfit challenges and DJ fanclubs. It was the place we could go afk and feel the fear of being pushed in the water. It was the place we could pillow fight and laugh so hard we almost pee our pants (speaking personally of course LOL). One World allowed for us to meet others from all over the globe and learn to say hello in other languages. We practiced with our new lag-enducing toys like sparkles and fireworks. We parachuted from Borday's machine and Hot Rocks.

"So gather up your jackets, and move it to the exits - I hope you have found a friend."

I'll miss Sporks like I miss Sunday afternoons at OneWorld. But I know with these doors closing, others will open. Most importantly I know I'll have my friends to share those new open doors. We have all grown so much and I'm so thankful for each of you and what you have brought to my life - through SL - and into RL. A final toast to Sporks, and a cheers to all the new adventures in store.

"Closing time - every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end... " - Semisonic

P.S. For those of you who loved "Friends" - you might enjoy this video version of "Closing Time."

Surviving Cancer

I woke up this morning knowing I had to blog about this. The title for the post was clear in my mind and although the words weren't as clear, the feelings and phrases had obviously rolled around in my head most of the night.

Most people have been touched by cancer in some way. Either by having it themselves, or helping a family member or friend fight their way through the disease. Far too many never win their fight. Far too many are left to slowly spend their last days in extreme pain, withering away, while their family and friends can only comfort and love the soul as they transition from this world on to the next. It is a situation where everyone involved feels helpless and must come to terms with the great sadness that comes from not being able to effectively find a solution to the problem. I have lost women who were very important to me - my grandmother and also a work colleague - to ovarian cancer. They were courageous every step of the way. But in the end, the cancer won.

I have also been blessed to know cancer survivors. My husband and my mom. Both in the last year have faced this monster eyeball to eyeball. Fortunately, my husband's was quickly dealt with - skin cancer - and basal cells can be seen as predictable and removable all in one fell sweep. My mom was faced with colon cancer. She is one of the healthiest women I know - exercises daily, eats all the right things, and has done so for years. She faced breast cancer a few years ago and was able to fight it with out surgery as early detection allowed for alternative successful treatments. But... this colon cancer... it was a three headed scary monster of a thing. It required surgery. It required lots of prayer. It required all of us around her to have more faith than we ever thought we would need. It required us to expect supernatural things be possible. Her worst fear was that she would have to undergo chemo. As a nurse for over 20 years, she knew how chemo - as effective as it can be - slowly destroys the rest of your body along with the cancer. We were so blessed she had a very skilled surgeon who captured all the cancer and was able to reconnect her bowel to return her to "normal" when all the healing was done.

All the healing... an interesting concept. You see... surviving cancer... I think you never really heal. Not every part of you. There is always a part way back in the recesses of your mind that remembers and haunts you. It requires you to be extra vigilant in what you eat, how you exercise, and how often you see your doctor. As a survivor, you can never go back to the innocent mindset you had before. Knowledge is power of course. But with knowledge also brings responsibility. It becomes something you must never truly pack away or forget about because you might need to be ready for battle again if the cancer reoccurs.

Someone recently referred to removing friends or frienemies from their SL list feeling as freeing as successful cancer surgery. At the time, those words rang very hollow over and over in my mind. It wasn't until this morning when I woke up, that I knew how I had to address them and why. No matter how much pain we may be in from friendships and love lost, there is no comparison to surviving or battling cancer. To say so insults all the millions who deal with cancer every day.

Life is all about perspective - both RL and SL. Surviving cancer and losing loved ones to cancer and remembering and honoring them reminds me of that perspective. I am so proud of those who have fought the battle courageously - even if they lost. It is the ultimate test of the human spirit - for themselves as well as their family and friends. Thankfully, SL doesn't ever expose us to carcinogens that cause our avitars to have cancer. Perspective... it is all about perspective.

Discovering a Sense of ReSiLiency

Many have joked about my spelling - and believe me - I have to laugh at it myself! I am always in such a hurry to get my thoughts down - the words pour out of my fingers as they fly across the keyboard and I am left with a hiddddeous mess to decypher. The title of this blog, however, is purposeful.

SL offers me the perfect chance to explore resiliency. SL is the perfect opportunity to see how the human spirit can be resilient. SL is the perfect place to explore who we are, what we might be, what we could imagine, and how we can reinvent ourselves. SL is also the perfect place to reevaluate what is important to us, gravitate toward people we most likely will never ever meet in RL but for some reason SL allowed our paths to cross, and SL reminds us how human we all are.

According to Dictionary.com (Unabridged v 1.1), here is how the root word is defined (and LOL spelled correctly):
re·sil·ience /rɪˈzɪlyəns, -ˈzɪliəns/ –noun
1. the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.
2. ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.
Also, re·sil·ien·cy.
[Origin: 1620–30; Latin resili(éns), prp. of resilīre to spring back, rebound (see resilient) + -ence]