Why Bother?

I had an interesting conversation with someone on Friday about the point of Second Life. He is an educator who works with technology - and very much into cutting edge things. He had all sorts of great information about something called SLoodle which I need to Google. It combines a course management open source software called Moodle with the Second Life interface.

I have worked for the past five or more years with Moodle and educators. It has wonderful potential for bringing communities of educators together in a one dimensional way, synchronous or asynchronous - discussion boards, chats, shared websites, etc. But the idea of integrating it with Second Life and making it a three dimensional learning experience is really intriguing to me.

So I went on to discuss this idea with him further and he began to share, unsolicited really, his thoughts about Second Life. I listened attentively while he described someone he knew who taught scripting in SL and had helped students create whales and other things. He laughed and said frankly he didn't see the point. He was a gamer. He loved games like War and Conflict but SL? Really... why bother. All he could see was that it was all about sex.

Another colleague of mine was listening in as attentively as I. He knows I enjoy SL but didn't give me away. We would smile at each other from time to time throughout the monologue. He was worried I was offended. I have much thicker skin than that. I laughed after the War and Conflict SLooder left. I appreciated his perspectives and loved the SLoodle tip. But, I will not believe as he does that SL exists only for sex. In fact, I made that comment to my colleague who endured the conversation with me. I said.. you know... how does he KNOW about all that SEX STUFF in SL? LOL! Really...

What is it about those crazed sex maniacs that always gives them the edge in new technology? They were the first to over-inhabit the World Wide Web. I remember in the early 90's wanting to use the Internet in my teaching and being cautioned that all that was out there was sex. So here we are now in the 21st Century... in virtual 3D worlds... and who was there first? Those darned crazed sex maniacs! LOL

I think you will find what you are looking for on the web and in Second Life. If you go looking for a good time that involves several X's, then you will find it. If you go looking for exploration and amazing sites, then you will find that too - ancient Greece ruins, New York City slums, beautiful beaches. If you go looking for friends, you will find that too, without even trying. And, I'm not just talking about the friends who want to have sex with you. (joke there). I have made friends from all over the world. I have met people I probably never would in RL. I enjoy them. I don't try to have sex with them. Sure we have wardrobe malfunctions from time to time and show off our beautiful breasts inadvertently... but frankly with the scooped necks these days - I see a lot of breasts that I can't ever figure out if women meant for them to be seen or not.

So... SL isn't for everyone. I know that. If you prefer to shoot em up and blow em up and call it a day, then by all means. Just make sure you leave room for the rest of us who enjoy a little shopping, a little conversation, and some great sights without being clothed head to toe in combat gear.

Happy Sunday! Cheers to some R & R in whatever form you'd like it in. Hoo!

Surviving Cancer

I woke up this morning knowing I had to blog about this. The title for the post was clear in my mind and although the words weren't as clear, the feelings and phrases had obviously rolled around in my head most of the night.

Most people have been touched by cancer in some way. Either by having it themselves, or helping a family member or friend fight their way through the disease. Far too many never win their fight. Far too many are left to slowly spend their last days in extreme pain, withering away, while their family and friends can only comfort and love the soul as they transition from this world on to the next. It is a situation where everyone involved feels helpless and must come to terms with the great sadness that comes from not being able to effectively find a solution to the problem. I have lost women who were very important to me - my grandmother and also a work colleague - to ovarian cancer. They were courageous every step of the way. But in the end, the cancer won.

I have also been blessed to know cancer survivors. My husband and my mom. Both in the last year have faced this monster eyeball to eyeball. Fortunately, my husband's was quickly dealt with - skin cancer - and basal cells can be seen as predictable and removable all in one fell sweep. My mom was faced with colon cancer. She is one of the healthiest women I know - exercises daily, eats all the right things, and has done so for years. She faced breast cancer a few years ago and was able to fight it with out surgery as early detection allowed for alternative successful treatments. But... this colon cancer... it was a three headed scary monster of a thing. It required surgery. It required lots of prayer. It required all of us around her to have more faith than we ever thought we would need. It required us to expect supernatural things be possible. Her worst fear was that she would have to undergo chemo. As a nurse for over 20 years, she knew how chemo - as effective as it can be - slowly destroys the rest of your body along with the cancer. We were so blessed she had a very skilled surgeon who captured all the cancer and was able to reconnect her bowel to return her to "normal" when all the healing was done.

All the healing... an interesting concept. You see... surviving cancer... I think you never really heal. Not every part of you. There is always a part way back in the recesses of your mind that remembers and haunts you. It requires you to be extra vigilant in what you eat, how you exercise, and how often you see your doctor. As a survivor, you can never go back to the innocent mindset you had before. Knowledge is power of course. But with knowledge also brings responsibility. It becomes something you must never truly pack away or forget about because you might need to be ready for battle again if the cancer reoccurs.

Someone recently referred to removing friends or frienemies from their SL list feeling as freeing as successful cancer surgery. At the time, those words rang very hollow over and over in my mind. It wasn't until this morning when I woke up, that I knew how I had to address them and why. No matter how much pain we may be in from friendships and love lost, there is no comparison to surviving or battling cancer. To say so insults all the millions who deal with cancer every day.

Life is all about perspective - both RL and SL. Surviving cancer and losing loved ones to cancer and remembering and honoring them reminds me of that perspective. I am so proud of those who have fought the battle courageously - even if they lost. It is the ultimate test of the human spirit - for themselves as well as their family and friends. Thankfully, SL doesn't ever expose us to carcinogens that cause our avitars to have cancer. Perspective... it is all about perspective.

Lucky 13 and Perspectives

So is the number 13 lucky or unlucky? Is the glass half full or half empty? It all depends on the angle from which you view the number or the glass. Most would say we are negative beings by nature as we grow older. It is easier to expect something bad. It takes considerably more energy to envision something positive. Brain research tells us it takes at least 10 to 15 positive statements to overshadow 1 negative statement. So... with all this being said... I can see why we think 13 is unlucky.

Bigd and I just recently celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary. Lucky or unlucky? I say lucky. No marriage is perfect and every marriage is different. Marriage takes a lot of twists and turns you are never warned about in the "Happily Ever Afters" you read about as a little girl. It also isn't the 50-50 even split you think it should be when you agree to spend the rest of your life with someone. Sometimes it is 60-40 or 75-25 or even 90-10. It is a give and take. It is a really loud yelling match with no agreement and a quiet never ending snuggle under the covers. It is celebrations and sadness. It is family, teamwork, silliness, laughter, compromise, and bottom line-end of the day - committment to make things work. Long Haul. It is lucky - but it is much much more than lucky.

When I taught writing, I used to have my students draw roadmaps of their lives. I told them to be creative in the shape, the twists, turns, and other features they would include on their roadmaps. As I thought of what this post would become over and over in my head last night, I thought I would share some of the markers on our "Lucky 13 Roadmap." Kinda personal - sure. Universally human - undoubtedly yes!

By Year 5 in our marriage, Bigd and I had 2 beautiful baby boys, owned our first home, completed 2 Masters' degrees, and survived 3 part-time jobs in order to make ends meet in addition to our teaching careers. By Year 7, Bigd and I had endured a miscarriage and a major career change. By Year 9, twins - a beautiful baby boy and girl - had entered our lives, major career change had led to promotion, more part-time jobs had been endured and a move was in the works. After the twins arrived, life went into permanent fast-forward. A major move, teaching job changes, and a kick-ass daily commute were new notches on our marriage. Year 12 a silly thing called SL came along. It offered a whole new host of things to explore, experience and think about. Celebrating "Lucky 13" has brought amazing new challenges for Bigd and I to face - together - as a team. I am confident we can do it. I am committed to our team and every member on it. I remind myself it is all about the perspective.

My glass is half full - approaching full every day. 13 will be lucky. I can't picture it any other way!