Saturday, January 26, 2008

Surviving Cancer

I woke up this morning knowing I had to blog about this. The title for the post was clear in my mind and although the words weren't as clear, the feelings and phrases had obviously rolled around in my head most of the night.

Most people have been touched by cancer in some way. Either by having it themselves, or helping a family member or friend fight their way through the disease. Far too many never win their fight. Far too many are left to slowly spend their last days in extreme pain, withering away, while their family and friends can only comfort and love the soul as they transition from this world on to the next. It is a situation where everyone involved feels helpless and must come to terms with the great sadness that comes from not being able to effectively find a solution to the problem. I have lost women who were very important to me - my grandmother and also a work colleague - to ovarian cancer. They were courageous every step of the way. But in the end, the cancer won.

I have also been blessed to know cancer survivors. My husband and my mom. Both in the last year have faced this monster eyeball to eyeball. Fortunately, my husband's was quickly dealt with - skin cancer - and basal cells can be seen as predictable and removable all in one fell sweep. My mom was faced with colon cancer. She is one of the healthiest women I know - exercises daily, eats all the right things, and has done so for years. She faced breast cancer a few years ago and was able to fight it with out surgery as early detection allowed for alternative successful treatments. But... this colon cancer... it was a three headed scary monster of a thing. It required surgery. It required lots of prayer. It required all of us around her to have more faith than we ever thought we would need. It required us to expect supernatural things be possible. Her worst fear was that she would have to undergo chemo. As a nurse for over 20 years, she knew how chemo - as effective as it can be - slowly destroys the rest of your body along with the cancer. We were so blessed she had a very skilled surgeon who captured all the cancer and was able to reconnect her bowel to return her to "normal" when all the healing was done.

All the healing... an interesting concept. You see... surviving cancer... I think you never really heal. Not every part of you. There is always a part way back in the recesses of your mind that remembers and haunts you. It requires you to be extra vigilant in what you eat, how you exercise, and how often you see your doctor. As a survivor, you can never go back to the innocent mindset you had before. Knowledge is power of course. But with knowledge also brings responsibility. It becomes something you must never truly pack away or forget about because you might need to be ready for battle again if the cancer reoccurs.

Someone recently referred to removing friends or frienemies from their SL list feeling as freeing as successful cancer surgery. At the time, those words rang very hollow over and over in my mind. It wasn't until this morning when I woke up, that I knew how I had to address them and why. No matter how much pain we may be in from friendships and love lost, there is no comparison to surviving or battling cancer. To say so insults all the millions who deal with cancer every day.

Life is all about perspective - both RL and SL. Surviving cancer and losing loved ones to cancer and remembering and honoring them reminds me of that perspective. I am so proud of those who have fought the battle courageously - even if they lost. It is the ultimate test of the human spirit - for themselves as well as their family and friends. Thankfully, SL doesn't ever expose us to carcinogens that cause our avitars to have cancer. Perspective... it is all about perspective.

4 comments:

bigd Flanagan said...

Loved this topic. Too many people think that examples of courage and heroism are only found in newscasts, printed media and movies. We are surrounded by so much courage. Your blog does an excellent job of talking about the everyday courage we tend to overlook. As a species will can be low and venal but God how we can soar!

Survivors survive many hardships in many venues. I've always admired a person who says "Well they tell me that it's going to be like this" and they turn it around to say "But I say it's going to be like THIS!" Controlling your own destiny and outcomes is essential if you want to soar. You can always pick yourself up. Those of us blessed by a sea of helping hands find the getting up that much easier. Those that don't have the sea of helping hands face such a harder struggle. I hope I can stick my hand out to them.

Kimala said...

I have never known you not to hold out your hand to help someone through a hardship - even someone you didn't even know. You have a good heart D. /me hugs you tightly.

bigd Flanagan said...

Knock it off Kimala or you'll taste the back of my hand. /hoo
I do what I can and thank you for those kind words. As I write this response I've got to work on an expose of my darker days. Hmmmm potential titles: I turned to the darkside or Ruthless: My Style as a Juvenile or Fuck, are you gonna be ok? Time for some levity!!

bigd Flanagan said...

OMG you were so right about Cindy Kesey. She absolutley rocks when she rights. Whew and comforting ;)