Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers
- Garth Brooks, Unanswered Prayers; written by Pat Alger/Larry B.Bastian/Garth Brooks
I find myself a lot of times praying for things, asking for things, and outcomes that I hope will happen, that I want to happen, that I think is for the best. It is sometimes a huge paradigm shift to step back and realize that when prayers aren't answered it is because something better is headed our way.
SL has taught me alot about myself and a lot about realizing sometimes things happen because something else is coming along. SL is not different from RL in any way when it comes to emotional capacity and introspection. Afterall, we are all the spiritual driving forces behind our pixelated avitars. It helps so much to remember we can simply turn something over, resolve within ourselves that a situation or problem is bigger than we personally know how to handle, and allow for it to be solved in time, with assistance from whatever higher power you choose to believe in. Without fail, it never disappoints.
I've been given much food for thought in SL in terms of relationships. Friends lists, group memberships, and the locations I frequent all build a sense of identity in SL. When is it right to remove yourself, when is it right to just wait, when is it right to fight for them and hang in there? I know I am a pleaser by nature. I try to make sure any and all in my life are happy - and I know that sometimes making everyone happy makes no one happy, including myself. I am also someone who likes to solve problems. There must be some way to make it work, some way, some how. With both of those viewpoints - happiness and solutions, it has been reaffirming to remind myself that sometimes I am capable of neither and I need to just turn it over and let it be resolved in a different way - a way perhaps I haven't even thought of yet.
So what the heck does this all have to do with unanswered prayers and that ridiculous country song quote I began with? If I feel lonely in SL, despite the abundance of events, avitars and constant opportunity, perhaps it is time to sit back and realize my immediate unhappiness is an unanswered prayer. It is a time to learn more about myself. Do I take a break and resolve to not log in to SL for a while? Maybe. Maybe that is where the answers will find me. Do I resolve to explore new places and meet new people and look for new opportunity until the answer comes along? Perhaps. Do I remove people and groups from my profile and cut ties? Perhaps that is the answer too. But maybe, just maybe, I sit and wait.
4 comments:
Interesting blog Kimala. I think everyone defines lonliness in different terms. I don't think I get consciously lonely in SL, but I sure as hell get restless. I have this cornucopia of things to do and sometimes I just go bleh... None of it connects with me. I really don't see this as a bad thing, it just makes the fun times and the good people all that more enjoyable. I don't think I could stay on SL if I didn't feel these blah things occasionally. I didn't grow up being a people pleaser but I have found it necessary to develop that capacity to call on. I wouldn't be much of a husband or father otherwise. I've learned good stuff and bad stuff about myself on SL, but mostly its just stuff I knew was always there: I am warm,caring, easily distracted, often self centered, funny and oh so human,,,
Maybe God doesn't answer all prayers, maybe he smacks you in the back of the head and says,"What are you thinking...." He is a pretty funny guy you know
I think..
Sometimes you fight.
Because you don't know what else to do.
Well.
Me, I guess.
I fight to fix what I can't. And it never works. But at least..
I can say I tried?
Maybe that's why I do it.
Maybe I'm too dumb to know better.
Who knows..?
There's the old saying, "Be careful what you pray for, you just might get it." I guess I go back to acceptance...and the AA saying from page 449 (old edition) of the Big Book:
"Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake..."
In Conversations With God, the big Fella himself tells us that our prayers are always answered. Maybe not the way we intended though. Sometimes, if we follow our thoughts....they go back and forth. I pray for companionship and then in the next thought lament my loneliness. Whatever we think on gets bigger. I say a prayer at night, and then have a full day of thoughts that oppose it. Which will win that battle? Probably a full day of thoughts opposing my one thought of what I want. All thoughts are prayers...our life is a prayer. What shall I do with it?
Oh, and please, don't think that I have any of this down. Please take my advice...I'm probably not using it.
:-D
/me hugs all 3 of you and is so so glad I have you all, along with your deep thoughts and blogging selves in my life.
I love you guys :)
Post a Comment