Sunday, May 18, 2008

Sunday Stress

When I was a teacher in the classroom, Sunday's were predictable. I would spend the day at school working on my classroom, making copies, getting things ready for the week. It was a way to work through the nervous energy that rippled through me as I psyched myself up for the trials and tribulations that a week teaching high school students brings. I loved teaching. I loved the challenge. I loved the laughs. But eventually, the stress got the better of me. It was time to try something new.

Moving into the non-profit world I found my hours increased by leaps and bounds. Hard to imagine that I could work more having come from the classroom - but it is true. 60 hour weeks and year round schedules. I think the difference is in the year round part. Being a teacher, you pace yourself like a runner. You know you have to get a certain distance over a certain time period. You take breaks for water but you plug on through. The transition from one world to the year round world required me to rethink my pace. The first few summers were hard. I always worked through the summer as a teacher at the community college but it had the highs and lows of a new job and that was an adrenaline rush in itself.

Having been at this job now almost 7 years in June, I have the pacing down. But it is the travel recovery before and after that gets me. I love to travel. I have always enjoyed the trips I take for work. Adventures in networking with new colleagues. Nothing better than traveling back East to the PBS mothership :) But, along with travel comes a hangover. Not from drinking too much, but from jet lag, from the intensity that comes with being "on" almost 16 or 18 hours a day and worrying about all the happenings at home that I should be there for. They are fine at home. I have a great home team. But it doesn't stop the worry.

I'm back now after almost a week away. 3 nights is my maximum in good conscience. 4 full days. I think that might have been when I spent all day Friday with a migraine. Stress hangover? Hard to gear up then for all the events in the days to follow. I know it may sound silly. But preschool graduation, mom's birthday, the twin's birthday, a major work event at the Zoo later in the week where I facilitate the program, and then the last day of school and organizing all the presents for teachers are enough to make me want to go back to bed and not get up until next week. All this on top of voicemails and non-urgent emails I let await me until I returned to work this week. Xanex anyone?

I'll default to my best strategy. My best strategy is to put my head down. Focus on one event at a time and not think too hard about the rest until one is accomplished. Then, on to the next. Prayer works well too. I need to turn it over instead of just lament it. Breathing always helps. Maybe a few yoga stretches. Its only 10 am on Sunday. Plenty of time for me to deploy my strategies. All those, and a few slip n slide trips with my kids in my parents' backyard should be the perfect remedy.

There is a science to all this - happiness and stress and anxiety you know. I'll leave you with this thought I found...

The answer lies in the pie chart theory of happiness. Recall that 50 percent of individual differences in happiness are governed by genes, 10 percent by life circumstances, and the remaining 40 percent by what we do and how we think?that is, our intentional activities and strategies. The secret of course lies in that 40 percent.
~ Sonja Lyubomirsky "Get Control of your Happiness"

In the meantime, I find a way to peek at those emails and check voicemail later today. A pre-emptive strike on my week ahead. Hopefully I can squeeze in some Hooing too in SL. A few deep breaths in and out... and I'm off!

6 comments:

bigd Flanagan said...

Yet another quality blog. The stress of the classroom never reached critical mass on me, well at least not yet. The kids are cool enough, its the asshole, wanking adults that tend to fray me.

You work your ass off in every venue of your life my love. Welcome to the friggin US of A! Studies indicate that we are in fact the hardest working nation on the face of the earth. People in this country envision some Indian, Japanese or Chinese person pushing themselves for just one more hour. Well, wake up peeps! We work longer days, weeks, months. We do less vacation time than any other industrialized nation going.

Don't get me wrong. We have plenty of slackers around. People who are comfortable just getting by. People who have no vision, drive or committment towards anything but their own pleasure. I can think of a few I encounter in SL.

The conclusion to this rambling? I don't know if there is one really. It's part of the times we live in. I think life in America has always been pretty unique in a historical perspective. We work, we kick ass, we have a heart to those in need. Our Constitution embraces tolerance for our fellow human beings. Again I say, why do so many people want to live in our country and be Americans? Simply because we are the best!! You don't get to the best by sitting on your ass and watching life go by.

Parker said...

I am so glad you took my advice to share the soapbox, just didn't think you would do it within the same bog and same post. You two truly are an amazing team.

As an adolescent counselor long time back I stopped wearing a watch and started baking bread to deal with the stress. Then I burned out from that after nearly 13 years, most in juvenile justice. now I have the least stressful job there is - I get paid to watch television.

I have been a substitute teacher and I continue to say no matter what teachers in the US are making, it would never be enough.

BidD, we in the US may be the hardest working, but we are no where near as productive. Go figure. I enjoyed my 6 weeks in South America where we took a break every day for lunch and nap. It took me a while to grasp that, but I was far more productive afterward.

Kimala, just breath. Remember to breath. Keep breathing. Don't want to have to call the medics to perform CPR. :-)

Kimala said...

Deeply breathing :) Birthday for mom - checked off the list. Onward :) Thank you both for your encouragement!!

Maybe it was my lack of SLing today that raised my anxiety? And... I think the season finale of Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters is just around the corner - right? Hooo!

Me said...

Season finale of Desperate Housewives just started.

Personal feeling?

Lynette should leave Tom with his stupid psycho kid and take her kids with her!

Kimala said...

yes - by Monday night Bradley I can safely say my ass is partially kicked ;) The checklist is progressing though - that is a good thing... head down... one thing at a time... breathe breathe :)

Unknown said...

Thanks for quoting me in your post. You may be interested in my recent book, The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want (2008, Penguin Press), which discusses the "40% solution" theory you cite (i.e., that 40% of our happiness is under our control), as well as describing scientifically supported ways that people can become lastingly happier.

Best,
--Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D.
www.thehowofhappiness.com