Sunday, January 20, 2008

Always Apologize

SLife, as RLife, is far too short to not make amends. I have learned that you can only take responsibility for what you have done - not what others have done. You can offer an olive branch and hope that it is received. It is a skill we work on from the moment we learn that all the toys aren't ours when we are 2 years old, and continually after that throughout our lives. Anyone who thinks he or she has all the answers and knows all the formulas is just deluding himself or herself. Apologies must be given from the heart. Also, one accepting an apology must have an open heart.

Apologies have been scripted by counselors for years as a way to assist those not able to articulate their thoughts effectively. It is disheartening when some feel heartfelt apologies must resemble some sort of Mad Lib. To those who author the real deal Mad Libs - I apologize for insulting your great resource for kids. To you who attempts to author "Mad Lib Apologies" in multiple genres, please move on. Let it go. Find another blogger to respond to. Hold up a mirror and ask yourself, "What in the world did I forget to apologize about myself? Maybe I should be exploring the best ways to put my expertise to work - with my preferred Mad Lib Script or not?"

1 comment:

Crighton Johin said...

It takes a bit of self analysis to decipher what we need to apologize for. If I leave you, and hurt you, then I need to say, "I'm sorry that my actions hurt you..." What I do not need to apologize for is your perceptions about that, only my actions. If you think that I did something that isn't true, I do not need to apologize for that. In other words, I do not need to apologize for your feelings.

I have said to people, "I'm sorry that you feel that way." It doesn't mean that it's my fault...it means that I feel badly about it. I tell my wife that I'm sorry that she feels depressed about her mother, but it doesn't mean I'm to blame.

Two of the main jobs I have as a human being are to make amends when I'm wrong, and to forgive those who wrong me. And I need to do both. And, it's not my job to make you apologize for something. My life does not depend on that, but it does depend on forgiveness and making amends for MY wrongs.