I have been bombarded with emails today when I sent something through our work email system by mistake with my personal login sending everything that bounces back to my personal work email address. Needless to say, ever since 3:00 pm, my email inbox has been filled hour after hour with returned mail. Much of my job is email based depending on the day, and this afternoon's email bombardment of nonsensical messages made for an exhausting end of the day. I made my boss happy though, she needed it done and even though I sent it as myself, it got sent.
I've started working a lot in SL too. I hostess at 2 clubs primarily. I enjoy the tips and being welcoming and chatty. In some cases I have helped grow interest in a club that was struggling from day to day. I have noticed though that it has changed SL for me. It has added pressure and obligation where there used to be none. I enjoy it, but I find myself wondering if I have taken the fun out of it.
I suppose if it gets right down to it, I need to decide who I am making happy. If it is no longer fun, then it is time for a break. I always had a strict rule for myself in my first few months of SL that I would pay for Lindens if I really wanted them because SL was entertainment - and I work too hard in RL to not just enjoy SL. Good policy, I thought. I was really good about it for almost a year. Then, I put my toe in the working world of SL. I'm a work-a-holic. I admit it. I work long hours at my job in RL to get things just right. I can't turn my brain off sometimes. Once I started with some work in SL, I found the same applied. Achieve, achieve kicked in.
I don't want SL to lose its magic. I need to do some thinking. If I am working for me, because of what it can do to improve the things I want to do and own and be in SL, then it is worth it. If I am working to make others happy, or for the attaboys, then it isn't.
My RL life is very hectic right now. Having everyone home for the summer is a blessing and a curse. It means that we don't have the hecticness when I leave in the a.m. - I only have to worry about myself getting out the door. But on the other hand, when I hit the door at night, they have had all day without me at home. They need me and want to tell me about everything they did all day, and want me to be ready to entertain them for a bit. I haven't been good lately at that. Working in SL makes it harder to multitask like I used to in RL. I can't go AFK for very long or I feel like I am not doing a good job (see told you I was achieve, achieve).
Tonight ended on a tired and cranky note. It is only Hump day. Two more days to go and Friday is a busy, full one in RL that I can't be tired and cranky for.
Thanks for listening. Sometimes it helps to write it all down. Makes it easier in black and white. Makes it easier to see what really matters. I'll make better decisions in the morning after a good night's sleep but a heartfelt blog post was much needed for my psychie this evening.
5 comments:
Whatever you choose works. The kids, and I, love you so much and get excited when you come home. We don't hold family meetings without you and refer to lack of K contact time. Never heard one peep on that front.
You can't max out in two worlds, that is not being good to yourself. S and R are terribly stoked about the world unfolding about them and want to share their observations with you.
You've got many things going for you in S and R's collective minds. #1 you are the motherlode Mom and you are gone during the day. Me? I'm around all the time. Sure I'm good for a spin to the pool but R has told me Momma is snuggly. That pretty much sums it up. Yep, you are snuggly.
Aaaawwwww, how utterly sweet BigD.
Here I will wipe the tear in me eye and insert my favorite quote from my favorite movie "In every task that must be done, there is an element of fun. Find the fun and snap the job's a game..." My philosophy in RL. If the job ever becomes too much like work, I quit.
You know how much I work in SL. What keeps me going is the fact that I work for no pay. Others have tried to woo me away, but in reality NO ONE could afford what I am worth and no one else could pay me what Jaz & Dana do pay, a very special and very unique friendship. I do what I do for the pleasure of watching things unfold and for the sheer pleasure of know the success I help to provide to my friends is also bringing them happiness. I know I am an odd duck, but that is me.
Now for you, I think it is time for some SHOPPING therapy. I have had some more LMs thrust upon me for some awesome clothes and I am sure my arm could be twisted to venture out for some fun and bank robbing.
OK... the Mary Poppin's philosophy... I would know it ANYWHERE. :) It has recently been replaced in my mind by the philosophy from Gesielle in Enchanted.
Anyway - I am always better after a good night's sleep. We are just finding our footing in a new schedule - D starts a REAL summer job as a mentor today and the kids are all getting used to what a routine at home all day includes - meaning help around the house, as well as video games and bike riding.
I just put on my big girl panties. It will be ok. I'll hoist em up. :)
Like I said..SL has changed for all of us..outside of our friendship - the things we do, the way we spend our time now.
But it sucks now to have obligation (though I love the Bee Hive). It means we can't just TP out and go do stuff on a whim anymore.
:) And don't put on big girl panties.
Put on SASSY PANTIES!
Hooooo!
It really isn't worth all the stress. I was up to 6 days a week hostessing and it just became too much. Yes the money was nice, but when it started to feel like too much, I knew it was time to cut back.
SL is whatever you make it. Whatever you want it to be, whether it's work, fun or a combo of both. You'll figure it out. I have faith in you.
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